And the relationship blossoms...

Back in our respective K-states, Johnie and I resumed daily communications through e-mail, internet, and phone.  We had already shared quite a bit of our past experiences with one another, as well as our present fears, and future dreams. 

While I had spent the past 6 months complacently going out with a guy here or there with no real intention or expectation outside of the meal or movie we shared, I was serious about serious relationships, and so was Johnie.  We both had made relationship mistakes in the past.  We both had dated other individuals to the point of planning to marry them, and then broken it off.  We didn't want to repeat those same mistakes. 

We weren't sure if we were going to get it right with each other, but we did want to do better with each other.  We talked pretty openly and honestly about our expectations in the relationship.  I gave Johnie a bit of slack for being a city boy from out west, and let him know how gentlemen acted (i.e., I would not be opening any doors, pumping any gas, or taking out any trash when he was around). 

We discussed more serious matters as well.  There had not been very much communication in Johnie's previous relationship.  That was pretty much a non-issue with us.  There had been some conflict in my previous relationship.  Johnie and I made a pact then, before we even had our first fight, that we would never raise our voices at one another.  There had been huge spiritual disagreements in both of our previous relationships.  While there were things Johnie and I didn't see eye to eye on, it wasn't difficult for us to peacefully respect one another's spiritual lives and beliefs. 

Johnie flew me out to see him in Wichita in June.  We celebrated his birthday.  It was a nice trip.  We went to the zoo and watched one of the elephant shows.  (I love elephants.  Weird, I know.)  Johnie engaged the handler in conversation after the show, and after a few minutes worked up the courage to ask if we could pet the elephants.  After explaining the long process one must go through to interact with the elephants, the handler finally allowed us to feed and pet them.  I loved the experience, and Johnie was beaming with pride that he had made something like this happen. 

As the summer progressed, more and more information was laid on the table.  Our compatibility strengthened.  The relationship seemed to be at a point where there wasn't too much more left to be said and we were left with the looming question: Is this it? 

We began considering that question.  Everything pointed to yes.  The attraction was there.  The chemistry was there.  We wanted the same things from life.  We had very similar values and beliefs. 

For about a month toward the end of summer, we prayerfully considered whether or not we should marry.  We both understood what a big decision this was.  We both believed in the sanctity of marriage.  We knew marriage was for life. 

I am thankful that I had several wonderful examples of christian couples who had already pondered and answered that very same question.  I turned to them for advice and guidance.  Johnie and I used much of the counsel they provided, including a series of fasts focused on our relationship and what direction we wanted to take it.

All signs still pointed to yes.  It seemed we had both found the one we were to marry. 

It was an exciting time for me.  Even though I was juggling my first semester of graduate school, a teaching assistantship, and another part time job, I was walking on air.  The sun shone brighter, colors were more vibrant, life was just great.  Unfortunately my work that semester reflected that school wasn't quite as high a priority as Johnie.

Although we had decided that we were in it for the long haul, nothing was official yet.  Johnie planned to fly in Labor Day weekend.  We did not decide to get engaged that weekend, but we did make plans to share our news with my family.  I picked out my ring.  That's a difficult thing to do when your boyfriend is 800 miles away and you're at a regional jewelry store when you find the perfect symbol for your love.  The jewelry store was quite gracious to us, though, and Johnie was able to secure the ring over the phone and pick it up when he flew in in September. 

Somewhat naive to what lay before us, we were about to make one of the biggest commitments of our lives.